04 Feb Healthy Relationships- are you in one?
If you are over the age of 25, you have most likely dated your fair share of people. Women, you maybe haven’t checked off every box, but most likely we have all fallen victim to the stereotypical influential relationships. Guys, I am so sure you have seen your fair share of different types of women too, I’m totally not discarding men! Regardless of the sex, you have your crazies, your sexies, and your cools and maybe even a few in-between that. All of it is the normal trials and tribulations of dating.
What really matters though is the relationships that extend past the dating phase. The ones that stick. It is those ones that make a really big impact. A lasting impact. It’s the ones that go for months or years or decades. These relationships can dictate so much of our lives. It’s choosing to spend the majority of your free time together, building a life together and looking at what that life looks like long term. Its merging friendships, schedules and in some cases families. I find relationships to be the most interesting, difficult, rewarding occurrences in our lives!
Getting into a bad relationship can impact your entire life and stay in that relationship long term can be bad for not only your emotional stability but also your physical health and mental stability. When we allow ourselves to get worked up, stressed out and are chronically upset, we cause our bodies a ton of internal damage and harm. You cause your stress hormones to elevate and in turn, causes your cortisol levels to increase. Cortisol is a component of fat retention and can cause other problems internally. Over long periods of time, feeling this stress causes blood pressure to elevate, heart rate to go up and it can cause an array of other problems such as depression, problems sleeping, and can even alter your heart and its arterial functions. In addition, these behaviors that stress is causing the body to adapt regularly are causing the body to create this muscle memory, making it difficult to break these habits in the future. The stress you might feel today could be a health condition tomorrow.
Being in a healthy relationship is the ability to respect yourself and love yourself enough to be able to wholeheartedly love another person. I always like to tell people who are seeking advice on dating, ‘You aren’t ready to be with somebody until you can be completely happy and content completely alone with yourself.’ I say this because I feel when you can get to the point where you don’t feel that strong need for outside attention, validation and support while feeling strong enough to be that for yourself, you are strong enough to give that to somebody else. When you get over all of the problems weighing you down from the past, come to term with the pain you still hold and the fears that face you when you are alone with your thoughts, you can ease the pain of your future partner when they find themselves in a time of need. In your times of stress, you won’t crumble from past trauma resurfacing. That’s when you’re good. When you can be alone with yourself, your thoughts, your hobbies, and your own space. When you don’t look to others for anything anymore. At the end of it all, people are all temporary. Therefore, looking at people for the answers will only give you temporary relief. Being in love is the ability to love each other immensely but being able to live without each other happily if necessary.
February is the month of love, and we need to vow to love ourselves and those we care for all we can without expectations beyond respect. Being in love is beautiful and loving relationships are empowering. Respect those you love and treat them with care, compassion, and kindness. The best relationships are respectful and supportive! xoxo